“But King Solomon loved many foreign women, as well as the daughter of Pharaoh: women of the Moabites, Ammonites, Edomites, Sidonians, and Hittites — from the nations of whom the Lord had said to the children of Israel, ‘You shall not intermarry with them, nor they with you. Surely they will turn away your hearts after their gods.’ Solomon clung to these in love.” (1 Kings 11:1-2).
This passage is one among several that should give pause to every Christian of marrying age. Love is a powerful thing. Over the years, I have witnessed many Christians who have had their hearts turned away from God because of matters of the heart.
Much discussion has been had regarding whether a Christian should marry a non-Christian. Is it a sin? Is it allowed? Is it best?
Usually such questions are asked by those who have already fallen in love with an unbeliever. “He or she is a good person, I love them, but they are not a Christian. Am I sinning if I marry them?”
Typically, regardless of the answer given, the decision is already made. In fact, efforts will be made to get the approval they seek, regardless of how many they have to ask before they hear what they want to hear. It reminds one of the warning given by Paul, “For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine, but according to their own desires, because they have itching ears, they will heap up for themselves teachers; and they will turn their ears away from the truth, and be turned aside to fables” (2 Timothy 4:3-4).
Without knowing the specifics of any particular situation, the best thing to emphasize in this article is the need to put the Lord first in our lives. If the question is asked, “What is the most important attribute for a potential spouse to have?”, the obvious answer is a relationship with God.
If we consider that Paul’s words, “Do not be deceived: ‘Evil company corrupts good habits.’” (1 Corinthians 15:33), we will be able to clearly see that our closest companion can have the greatest impact on our spiritual development.
If we understand that marriage is a lifetime relationship, “Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate” (Mark 10:9), we will know that our lifetime partner will either help or hinder our quest for eternal salvation.
If we look at the mistakes made by men like Solomon, Samson (cf. Judges 16:4–22) and Ahab (1 Kings 16:30-33), it will help us to see the great danger of marrying someone who will hinder our efforts to please God. Even a spouse who does not significantly hinder a Christian’s efforts to serve God certainly does not serve as an encourager of such efforts.
Also destructive is the lack of involvement in spiritual instruction for children. A father who does not bring up his children in “the training and admonition of the Lord” is by definition lacking as a parent (cf. Ephesians 6:4). A mother has her own strengths and obligations to be a spiritual touchstone for her children. But she can no more take the place of the unbelieving father than a Christian father can fill the breach made by an unbelieving mother.
The lesson is clear, as illustrated by Solomon’s mistake. Our mission in life is to save ourselves and others. Actions taken that impede those efforts must be avoided. When big mistakes are made, they can potentially “turn away” our hearts from God. Something to think about!
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