The final three qualifications for elder that we will be discussing in our series are the domestic qualifications listed in 1 Timothy 3 and Titus 1. These qualifications are the most disputed in the list. So, we will use longer articles to fully address them.
A few things to consider in our discussion. First, there is a danger in speculation. We can get caught up in our own personal views of the why or how things should be, and actually read into the text something that is not there. Please distinguish between what the text says, and what we might think it should mean. Second, as in all things we must be patient in the midst of disagreements. Our call as Christians is to unity. The study of truth should never cause division between those who love it.
Finally, be careful to not limit God’s plan. I had one lady years ago ask me, “Isn’t it best to be safe?” Her concern (rightly) was not to appoint an unqualified man to the post of elder. However, she was stuck on a matter of opinion, not of what the text taught. Her hesitancy, if leading to inaction, could have kept a man God intended to serve as an elder outside of the office. We must not elevate our own speculation or opinion to the level of what God’s word actually says.
With those thoughts in mind, lets look at Titus 1:6 and 1 Timothy 3:2.
The Husband of One Wife
The subject of marriage is a disputed one in the church, primarily as men disregard the law of God. God’s law established a covenant between a man and a woman, to become one flesh. The two are joined in this institution by God Himself, leading to Jesus words, “So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate” (Matthew 19:6).
The qualification listed by Paul in these two passages accords with this teaching of our Lord. For a man to be qualified to serve as an elder, he must be “the husband of one wife.”
The Greek definitions do not reveal anything out of the ordinary. The word husband comes from a form of the common Greek noun (aner). It is found in various forms a total of 215 times in the New Testament, and is most commonly translated man. It refers to the male, and the context is the determining factor as to whether it has reference to a man in general, or a husband, as the male in the marriage relationship. Here it obviously is referring to a husband.
The same thing is true with the Greek word translated “wife” in the text. It is a form of the common word (gyne). It is found 221 times in various forms, commonly translated woman. Again the context is what determines whether it refers to a woman in general, or a wife, the female in the marriage relationship — as it does here.
Finally, the word “one” is from a form of the Greek (heis) and is the numeral one. It is translated as “one” a total of 229 times in the English.
So, the translation is straightforward. What is clear in the qualifications is that God wants those who serve as elders to be family men. Qualifications stated in both Timothy and Titus require children. This qualification requires a wife.
So, who does that exclude? It certainly excludes a bachelor. There is no indication that these qualifications are optional. One who is not married to a woman is not qualified to serve as an elder. This does not in any way cast aspersion upon the wisdom or spiritual capabilities of a man who does not have a wife. While we may speculate as to why God would not allow a bachelor to serve, the text does not say. It simply says “the husband of one wife.” With this we are satisfied. Such a qualification also excludes a bigamist (two wives), or a polygamist (multiple wives). While we may speak of the sinfulness of such relationships, it is sufficient here to state that such a man can’t serve as an elder.
What about one who has divorced and remarried? The answer is found in the question, “Is he the husband of one wife?” If the divorce was not for the cause of fornication, the answer is no. (Read Romans 7:3, and switch genders). However, a man who puts away his spouse for fornication is the exception, as indicated in Matthew 19:9. Since God has dissolved his bond to his wife, if he marries again he becomes the husband of one wife. The same is true for a widower who remarries, cf. Romans 7:2.
The final question here centers in the question of one who is already serving as an elder, and who loses his wife to death. Does this “disqualify” him, requiring he stop serving as an elder? Some think so. I do not agree.
Understand first that the word qualification is one we supply. While a fairly good term, it must be understood in its context. God seeks men with these “qualifications” to ensure that the oversight in the flock is as He wants it to be. While being “qualified” does not ensure good oversight, it makes it much more probable. Are qualifications requisites or prerequisites?
Consider a man who is righteously serving God in this manner. Does the death of his wife make him incapable of continuing to serve God righteously? Maybe so, but maybe not. The same question could be asked of children. Would a man become unable to exercise oversight righteously if his children die? Does it in any way impact his wisdom, discernment, ability? Probably not.
A man must be the husband of one wife to be appointed to serve as an elder. It is a prerequisite. Anything beyond that would seem to be a matter of speculation.
That is not to say that a man may decide himself unfit to continue as an elder at the death of his wife. If he feels this way, his conscience will guide him. However, we should be careful to not reject the oversight of man who is capable, and who God would want to continue in the work.
