When we advocate for authority for all our practices, invariably some will seek to contrast such a position with the counterpoint of loving one another. As if the two are contradictory. They are not.
Why would the two be perceived as counterintuitive to one another? There are a couple of possible reasons. First, some may not realize that convicting others of sin is an act of love. Since the condemnation of sin can be unpleasant, it is perceived as unloving. Consider Paul’s words, “Brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be tempted. Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ” (Galatians 6:1-2). It is an act of love to bring someone back from sin to reconciliation.
However, there is a second possibility. It may be that some are less than loving in their attempts to maintain allegiance to God’s law. For such individuals, Jesus had something to say, “Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you pay tithe of mint and anise and cummin, and have neglected the weightier matters of the law: justice and mercy and faith. These you ought to have done, without leaving the others undone. Blind guides, who strain out a gnat and swallow a camel!” (Matthew 23:23-24).
For too many, our question is a matter of either/or. Either you stand for truth, or you love your brother. This is simply not so. A man who refuses to stand for truth, and call for authority for all we do, because he is afraid that such a contention lacks love is simply wrong. Too, the man who is quick to condemn and write off anyone who he does not immediately agree with his view of what the truth is, is tacitly showing a lack of love for his brother. This is just as worthy of condemnation as a departure from God’s will. Why? Because it too IS a departure from God’s will. The scribe asked Jesus, “Teacher, which is the great commandment in the law?” Jesus said to him, “ ‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’” (Matthew 22:36-39). If you treat your brother in an unloving fashion, it matters not if you hold the truth, you are guilty of sin.
How to avoid this? Consider a few suggestions when dealing with brethren:
- Assume integrity. The idea that — since I stand for truth, I am honest, but since he disagrees, his heart is wrong — is one that is fraught with danger. (It judges the heart of man — a standard that can easily end in the condemnation of self). See Matthew 7:1.
- Be Longsuffering. When a mistaken view is held, it can take time to come to truth. It is never appropriate to have a “one and done” attitude when it comes to disagreements regarding the faith. It takes time to work with others to bring them to a proper understanding of truth… patience is needed. See Ephesians 4:1-3.
- Check Yourself. Unpleasant conflict is not always the fault of the one who may be in error. It is the fault of the one who is being unpleasant! That means that even if you hold the truth, you can be a problem. Are you arrogant? You had better humble yourself! (Philippians 2:3). Are you plain spoken? You had better learn how to be diplomatic to temper your words! (Proverbs 15:1). Do you have an abrasive personality? I am sorry for you. Maybe you should realize that your personality is a hindrance to your spirituality, and make a change! (Proverbs 18:24).
A stand for doctrinal truth is not effective if the attitude of the one making the stand contributes to division rather than unity. Too often brethren deceive themselves when they bring strife, thinking themselves justified because they are right, and the other is wrong. They forget the words of our Savior, “love one another as I have loved you” (John 15:12).
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