There are many ideas of what it means to be a “real man.” They conflict with one another, and are heavily dependent upon culture, peers and self-identity.
Does being a man indicate a willingness to fight, an abundance of testosterone, aggressiveness, physicality? Some say so. Does being a man require feelings of superiority, dominance, and misogyny? This seems common as well.
I know when I was young, athletic endeavors were a part of establishing my identity as a man. I played ball, lifted weights and reveled in my accomplishments (as humble as they may have been). As I have grown older, and matured spiritually as well, I can more easily see the folly of such thinking. Even while in school, the ideas being advocated by both athletes and their advisors led to conflict as I sought to live in accord with God’s word.
As I raised boys of my own, I encouraged them to engaged in athletic activities as well. I has always been a part of our identity as a family, and remains so. However, I clearly see (as do my boys now) that the attitudes and behavior of many if not most in such activities conflict with manliness, as it is described in the Bible.
However, there is another extreme. There are certain Biblical distinctions that are reserved for males. There are principles of leadership, fidelity, and responsibility that the Bible uses to identify a real or righteous man. And, there are philosophical ideas regarding men in our society that do not meet the Biblical ideal. Societal efforts to emasculate men have led to confusion. A mixing of gender roles, and the feminization of religion have had a detrimental effect upon our families, churches and society. The truth about what it means to be a man falls between the two typical extremes of our generation. So, what is the truth?
In the book of Ezekiel, God spoke to the prophet about the conditions in the land. The prophets were corrupt, the priests violated the law, the princes were greedy for dishonest gain. He continued, “The people of the land have used oppressions, committed robbery, and mistreated the poor and needy; and they wrongfully oppress the stranger. So I sought for a man among them who would make a wall, and stand in the gap before Me on behalf of the land, that I should not destroy it; but I found no one” (Ezekiel 22:29-30).
Nowhere among Judah was such a man to be found. A man who was godly, willing to stand against the evil in the land, one who would stand in the breach for what is right and righteous. That is ultimately what it is to be a man. To stand for God even amid persecution and opposition. To lead others by example, principle and zeal.
God continues to look for such men. He gives us insight as to what kind of men they are to be. For example, in Titus 2 he describes appropriate attributes for older men (1-2, sober, reverent, temperate, sound in faith, in love, in patience); and younger men (6-8, sober-minded, showing a pattern of good works, showing doctrinal integrity, reverence, incorruptibility, being sound in speech).
Consider such attributes when comparing what God says a man is, and the attitudes of the world. It is not just about how old you are, and certainly not about physical strength, wealth, power, or machismo. Conversely, men are men and women are women, and some feminine traits, when found in men, are contrary to what is right and acceptable to God.
A true man is strong in faith. “Watch, stand fast in the faith, be brave, be strong” (1 Corinthians 16:13). He is obedient to God. He is responsible. “But let each one examine his own work, and then he will have rejoicing in himself alone, and not in another. For each one shall bear his own load” (Galatians 6:4-5). And, just as in the days of Babylonian captivity, God is looking for men like this today! “For all those things My hand has made, and all those things exist,” says the Lord. ‘But on this one will I look: on him who is poor and of a contrite spirit, and who trembles at My word’” (Isaiah 66:2).
So, how does this apply practically to the daily life of a righteous man? Well, God calls on him to be fair, “If there is anyone who executes judgment, who seeks the truth…” (Jeremiah 1:5). That fairness should be exhibited toward his wife. “Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered” (1 Peter 3:7). It should be present in his dealing with his children. “Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged” (Colossians 3:21). And it should be there as he deals with the world. Consider the words of the Psalmist:
“Lord, who may abide in Your tabernacle? Who may dwell in Your holy hill? He who walks uprightly, and works righteousness, and speaks the truth in his heart; He who does not backbite with his tongue, nor does evil to his neighbor, nor does he take up a reproach against his friend; In whose eyes a vile person is despised, but he honors those who fear the Lord; he who swears to his own hurt and does not change; He who does not put out his money at usury, nor does he take a bribe against the innocent. He who does these things shall never be moved” (Psalm 15).
More principles could be espoused, but these are sufficient to differentiate between who God considers a proper example of manhood, and the distorted view that his held by the world. So, which will you be? A worldly man? Or a man of God?
