This past week I taught six elderly ladies the 5th chapter of Proverbs. While the truths are important, and they appreciated the hour of study, the lessons are of greater importance to the young, so I share them with you here. Also, with our society changing so clearly and quickly, the truths are important and applicable in other ways.
The book of Proverbs is a book of wisdom. A father is teaching his son its importance, so that he will avoid conflicts and errors in his life. He wrote in verse 1-2, “My son, pay attention to my wisdom; lend your ear to my understanding, that you may preserve discretion, and your lips may keep knowledge” (Proverbs 5:1-2). This is the universal plea of fathers to their sons. Listen to what I say so that you don’t make mistakes. Those mistakes are often mistakes the father has already made.
There is only one way to be wise beyond your years, and that is to listen to someone who has already traversed the path you are taking. Otherwise you have to learn by experience. But, if you listen and apply, you may gain enough wisdom to bypass the mistakes made by others, and learn by hearing rather than by doing. This is what the wise man of Proverbs wanted for his son.
Why? Because mistakes are inevitable if you listen to the wrong people! Take for example in the area of sex. Read Proverbs 5:3-5, “For the lips of an immoral woman drip honey, and her mouth is smoother than oil; but in the end she is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged sword. Her feet go down to death, her steps lay hold of hell.”
The nature of sin (and other enticements) is that they promise very different things than they deliver. Marital relations are good and honorable, but fornication is not. “Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge” (Hebrews 13:4).
Consider the differences. In a good marriage there is commitment. There are roles that each partner, and each parent have. Children have stability. They have diversity as they see the similarities and the differences of men and women. The unique nature of the relationship staves off sexually transmitted diseases, jealousies and conflict. That is not to say that all marriages are as they ought to be, but this is what God intended. For example, Paul wrote to fathers, “And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4).
Now think of the forbidden — adultery or fornication. It is illicit fruit, and so has its own appeal. There is deliciousness in the secrecy, but it must be maintained by deception and unfaithfulness. And, it is destructive. It can lead to sexual diseases, and unwanted children. It destroys families, leaving wives vulnerable (cf. Matthew 5:32), and children abandoned. It comes at a great financial cost, and the eventual loss of reputation. Even when cheaters get together, they can’t trust one another because of the origin of their relationship. And God is unpleased. These are the things warned about by the book of Proverbs.
“Lest you ponder her path of life — her ways are unstable; you do not know them. Therefore hear me now, my children, and do not depart from the words of my mouth. Remove your way far from her, and do not go near the door of her house, lest you give your honor to others, and your years to the cruel one; lest aliens be filled with your wealth, and your labors go to the house of a foreigner; and you mourn at last, when your flesh and your body are consumed, and say: ‘How I have hated instruction, and my heart despised correction!’” (Proverbs 5:6-12).
The last bit of that passage sums up the matter. One who engages in adultery hates instruction and despises correction. He or she is like the Prodigal son of Luke 15. “And the younger of them said to his father, “Father, give me the portion of goods that falls to me.’ So he divided to them his livelihood. And not many days after, the younger son gathered all together, journeyed to a far country, and there wasted his possessions with prodigal living” (12-13), which included fornication (30). This young man was not interested in what his father had to say, and was uninterested in right and wrong. He just wanted to do what he wanted to do. And his downward spiral continued until he “came to himself” (17) and returned to his father.
Put biblically, this is foolish. The word is harsh, but it is true. Going against divine wisdom is selfish, prideful, and leads to all sorts of problems. This is true when the sin is adultery, but it is true in all matters where God is refused.
And so, the father tells his son, “Drink water from your own cistern, and running water from your own well. Should you fountains be dispersed abroad, streams of water in the streets? Let them be only your own, and not for strangers with you. Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice with the wife of your youth” (Proverbs 5:15-18).
The man who is wise, whether that wisdom is won through the consequences of sin or directly through God’s word, had a lot of good to say. He can direct you in the paths of righteousness, if you will only listen. Remember, “The ways of man are before the eyes of the Lord, and He ponders all his paths” (Proverbs 5:21). Follow His word, His divine wisdom, and you will not go wrong.
