When we talk about the home as God would have it be, there are numerous admonitions given: to the husband/father, to the wife/mother, and to the children. Let’s look at a few passages, and make a few observations about each.
Entire Family
“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter toward them. Children, obey your parents in all things, for this is well pleasing to the Lord. Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged” (Colossians 3:18-21).
“Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. ‘Honor your father and mother,’ which is the first commandment with promise: ‘that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth.’ And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:1-4).
Husbands/Fathers
“Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered” (1 Peter 3:7).
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her” (Ephesians 5:25).
“Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged” (Colossians 3:21).
“Furthermore, we have had human fathers who corrected us, and we paid them respect. Shall we not much more readily be in subjection to the Father of spirits and live?” (Hebrews 12:9).
Wives/Mothers
“Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear” (1 Peter 3:1-2).
“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife… (35) “and let the wife see that she respects her husband” (Ephesians 5:22-23a, 35).
“that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed” (Titus 2:4-5).
Children
“Brethren, do not be children in understanding; however, in malice be babes, but in understanding be mature” (1 Corinthians 14:20).
“as you know how we exhorted, and comforted, and charged every one of you, as a father does his own children” (1 Thessalonians 2:11).
“one who rules his own house well, having his children in submission with all reverence” (1 Timothy 3:4).
“as obedient children, not conforming yourselves to the former lusts, as in your ignorance” (1 Peter 1:14).
Now, obviously these verses are not exhaustive. We could use Old Testament teaching, examples, etc. to get even a clearer and fuller view of what God expects in the family. But consider the following observations, gleaned from these epistles.
There are two major requirements that God has made for husbands/fathers. Headship and love. Headship is not despotic. The godly man limits his behavior to ensure that those who submit to him will be protected, know his love, and will respect and revere him. Though respect and reverence at its end is the responsibility of the one in submission, a husband/father can act in a way to impede such obedience. For example, provoking the child to wrath. Neglecting admonition. Bitterness. Not dwelling with the wife with understanding. Most insubordination and lack of respect will be avoided if acts of love are most evident in his interactions with his family.
The wife/mother’s primary responsibility is to love and submit. Submission to the husband brings the blessings of God, and order in the home. This is God’s way. It is a difficult obligation, but made easier by the loving concern and deferential treatment of the man. The call to love (cf. Titus 2) indicates affection and the nurturing that comes best from the mother’s efforts. All who have had a loving wife or mother know the benefits of her efforts for them.
Finally, the children. Acknowledge your relative inexperience and that the Lord wishes your protection and growth. Your parents know what is best for you, and their all encompassing desire is to protect and prepare you for service to the Lord. You are to submit and obey and revere. It is in this way that you receive blessings from God.
