All of us understand the importance of friendship. We grasp it when we are young. Perhaps that is why a little child can come tell their parent after an hour’s play, “Mommy, I have a new friend!” This desire and readiness to accept another as a friend, unfortunately, becomes more rare as we get older. Personalities, politics, religion, culture, and biases all begin to erect boundaries. Perhaps personal disappointment or unpleasant experiences make us more cautious and make it harder to foster close relationships.
Disappointed experiences change nothing about the benefit of friendship. We are told, “Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful” (Proverbs 27:6). All of us need a voice we can trust and cherish, knowing that what they say may be difficult to hear, but it is said out of love and concern for us. A voice that comes from someone who we know is looking out for our interests. In short, a friend.
The Bible gives us great examples of friendship. One such example is that of Jonathan and David. Jonathan was the son of King Saul, and David was God’s chosen, the one who was ordained to take Saul’s place as ruler over Israel. As Saul soured on David’s successes (cf. 1 Samuel 18:5-9) there was a potential for tension and conflict, but their friendship remained strong. It remained strong because of the righteousness of their character and the true nature of their friendship, “the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul” (1 Samuel 18:1).
On one occasion when Saul sought the life of David, Jonathan spoke with passion to his father, defending the faithfulness and effectiveness of his friend, “he has not sinned against you, and because his works have been very good toward you” (1 Samuel 19:4), leading Saul to promise to Jonathan, “As the Lord lives, he [David] shall not be killed” (6). Finally, when Saul could no longer be persuaded by his son, Jonathan effected David’s escape from danger in 1 Samuel 20. The chapter ends with Jonathan’s plea, “Go in peace, since we have both sworn in the name of the Lord saying, ‘My the Lord be between you and me, and between your descendants and my descendants, forever’” (42).
David showed his own friendship to Jonathan, not only in the vows he made with the man, but also in the way he treated the family after Jonathan’s death. His song regarding the death of Saul and Jonathan included these words, “I am distressed for you, my brother Jonathan; you have been very pleasant to me; your love to me was wonderful, surpassing the love of women. How the mighty have fallen, and the weapons of war perished” (2 Samuel 1:26-27). Later as David reigned as the King of Israel, he asked, “Is there anyone who is left of the house of Saul, that I may show him kindness for Jonathan’s sake” (2 Samuel 9:1). A lame son of Jonathan’s was found, a man named Mephibosheth. David restored to Mephibosheth all of the family land and possessions, and took the man in to dine at the king’s own table “like one of the king’s sons” (9:11) taking care of him from then on.
This was a true demonstration of friendship. No matter the danger or trouble, they counted on one another. And they both remained faithful through good times and bad. This is what a friend does. This is why all of us need good friends. This is why God supplied a ready complement of like-minded brethren for us in the establishment of the local church. We all need friends.
Remember that we can accomplish much more as friends than one can alone. As the wise man said, “Two are better than one… And a threefold cord is not quickly broken” (Ecclesiastes 4:9,12). While keeping company with those who are evil can lead to corruption (cf. 1 Corinthians 15:33), a righteous brother who befriends us will influence us to good. Jesus said a true friend is willing to show his love even to the point of laying down his life (John 15:12-14). He also offers sage advice when needed. This is where we get the premise for our study, “As iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend” (Proverbs 27:17).
David and Jonathan are a single example of the type of friendship that would benefit each of us. We can also use Ruth’s friendship with Naomi; Daniel’s with Hananiah, Mishael and Azariah; Elijah and Elisha, Paul and Barnabas, as well as his mentorship to Timothy and Titus; our Lord’s friendship with the family of Lazarus, Martha and Mary; and Jesus’ close ties with His disciples, whom He loved, and called for them to love each other.
Establishing the importance of such close relationships, we glory in what God supplied. We know that in order to enjoy these relationships, each of us “must [ourselves] be friendly” (cf. Proverbs 18:24). May we all act as the disciples at the beginning of the kingdom, who rejoiced constantly in one another. “So continuing daily with one accord in the temple, and breaking bread from house to house, they ate their food with gladness and simplicity of heart” (Acts 2:47). God has given us a ready supply of friends, will you yourself be friendly?
