The key to esteeming each other is humility. If I am proud, my attention and interest is in myself. Pride associates with selfishness. However, If I am humble, my attention and interest typically will be in others. I see their value equal to, even exceeding my own. My humility makes me selfless. At least, that is God’s intention.
We are not talking here about self-hatred or despair. It is the realization that the value of another equals my own, and therefore my duty is to positively impact their lives. If you consider it, such actions reciprocated benefit all. I look out for multiple others, and all of them (having the same values) look out for me!
Consider the example Paul gave, writing about the care shown by a husband to his wife. “So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church” (Ephesians 5:28-29). The husband’s love is to be selfless. He esteems and values his wife and makes her welfare and happiness his work. This is an example of esteeming that should be common in the disciple’s life.
We seek the welfare of family, friends, neighbors, strangers and enemies. We acknowledge their value, and do what we can to be a blessing to them. Our Lord expects such behavior from us. “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven; for He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust” (Matthew 5:43-45). This applies to everyone with which we come into contact, but especially our brothers and sisters in Christ! “Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself” (Philippians 2:3).
The scripture is full of God’s admonitions for us to humble ourselves. A good summary statement is offered by the prophet Micah. “He has shown you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God?” (6:8). Justness and mercy are both attributes that emanate from selflessness, and a humble walk is defined here as submission to God’s will. This accurately represents a true child of God!
The practice of humility greatly impacts our relationship with each other. For example, Paul tells us that we are to bear with one another and to forgive one another (cf. Colossians 3:13), these coming from the selfless esteem we have as a result of a humble demeanor. “Finally, all of you be of one mind, having compassion for one another; love as brothers, be tenderhearted, be courteous; not returning evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary blessing, knowing that you were called to this, that you may inherit a blessing. For ‘He who would love life and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips from speaking deceit. Let him turn away from evil and do good; let him seek peace and pursue it. For the eyes of the LORD are on the righteous, and His ears are open to their prayers; but the face of the LORD is against those who do evil” (1 Peter 3:8-12).
Contrast humility with worldly pride and selfishness. We are told that God, “scorns the scornful, but gives grace to the humble” (Proverbs 3:34). Self-exaltation is ludicrous as we consider our place as humans, created by God — and accept the reality that “all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” (Romans 3:23). King Nebuchadnezzar, the most powerful man alive in his time, was humbled by God. Jehovah took his kingdom away for a season. The king lost his reason, becoming as an animal. After a time, Nebuchadnezzar had his reason and his kingdom returned by God. His testimony, “Now I, Nebuchadnezzar, praise and extol and honor the King of heaven, all of whose works are truth, and His ways justice. And those who walk in pride He is able to put down” (Daniel 4:37).
Consider the destructive nature of selfishness and pride in the local church. It will lead to anarchy, strife and division. For an example, read of willful Diotrephes (cf. 3 John 9-11). But as we esteem others more highly than ourselves (cf. Philippians 2:3) we show that esteem by being agreeable, considerate, charitable, friendly, interested and kind. We practice love for one another, following the example of Jesus Christ, “who, being in the form of God, did not consider it robbery to be equal with God, but made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a bondservant, and coming in the likeness of men. And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross” (Philippians 2:6-8).
In summary. As Christians, “Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others” (Philippians 2:4).
