There are several New Testament texts that detail the responsibilities to be found in a family as God would have it. One of these is Colossians 3:18-21, “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter toward them. Children, obey your parents in all things, for this is well pleasing to the Lord. Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.”
In this short text, Paul concisely describes the primary responsibility of each party. He does the same in Ephesians 6:1-ff. Put simply, The husband is to love. The wife is to submit. The children are to obey. The father is to discipline and instruct in a righteous and loving way. If we add to this Paul’s instruction that the older women teach the young women to “love their children” and be “homemakers,” we get a pretty clear role of everyone in a typical family (Titus 2:4).
Let me share a few comments about each. First, the husband has been given headship in the home. This is not an indication of superior value. Rather it is an acknowledgment of leadership, a position that is needed in any relationship. The one who is leading must be selfless, and love is the guarantee of that. The husband/father is not to be self serving, but seek what is best for his family.
The wife is to submit. Affection and love is important on the part of both spouses, but Paul emphasizes here as well as in Ephesians 5 the need for the woman to submit. Authority is often not welcome in our culture. It seems that many equate it with value. (Perhaps because of the abuse of authority in many past instances). But submission doesn’t indicate a lesser value. Both men and women have souls, and all souls are of great value to the Lord. There is no differentiation in the value of “male nor female” in Christ, (Galatians 3:28).
Children are to be obedient. God’s design of the family makes the parent the protector and guide (cf. Ephesians 6:4) until the child matures to the point of “leaving father and mother” and starting his or her own family. In Ephesians 6:3 this is referred to as “the first commandment with promise.” This indicates that God’s favor and blessings will be experienced by the obedient child.
In His wisdom, God has given a blueprint for us to follow to ensure happiness in the home. Each player has a part, and if we follow God’s instructions we will both please Him, and be healthy and joyful as a family.
The world often does not see this, or ignores it. Too many have their own mind about the family. They change God’s plan. Because of this there is much grief and dire consequences that result. Listen to God!
